I had a really great day at work. The managers have been trying to help me find another job, as i'm only on placement there. I really want to work with one person in paticular who is interviewing people to care for her. I've got an application form so i guess i'll see how it goes.

I have been so busy lately i have hardly got time for my writing. I don't want to stop all together, so i'm going to spend the weekends writing. I might even try and send some off to see if i can get them published.

There's so many things that i'm passionate about, it's hard to fit everything in. There's my job, which takes up three days a week, then i have college one day. So really the only days i have off are Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and they're spend doing college work. I spend my nights talking to Justin, he's my biggest passion, he inspires me, so without him i wouldn't do half as good in my writing, or anything else for that matter.

Right now life is doing pretty good. I have my amazing boyfriend to thank for all of that, he's truly special to me.

Wow, i had the most amazing conversation with Justin last night. He really proved his love for me. He's the perfect guy for me, he knows exactly what to say and when to say it, he knows how to make me feel special. He tells me that i'm the prettiest girl he's ever seen. I know that's not true, but it still makes me happy to hear him say it.

I remember the first time we started talking. It was almost four months ago. He was at university. I knew from the minute i saw him and heard his voice that i was going to fall for him. We talked for a few weeks before anything really progressed, although we both knew that we loved eachother, he wasn't sure how it would all work. But i knew from the start that everything would be okay.

I remember i would stay up all night talking to him, and he'd stay up waiting for me to come on before i went to work. That one " I love you" before i left the house, made my day.

We did have a few disagreements but here we are four months later.

I dream about him all the time. I would love to lay with him, on the grass at night watching the stars sparkle in the sky, my arms wrapped around his body, him whispering into my ear that he loves me and me not being to help but smile. Then him leaning over me to gently press his lips against mine, my heart beating so fast almost skipping a beat. Then i would lay my head on his chest, listening to him breathing, hands intertwined.

Ah, i guess i've always been abit of a dreamer. I'm just so in love with this boy. He's amazing, he's loving, kind, helpful, cute, everything you could possibly want in a boyfriend.

I love him with all my heart and nothing is going to change that.

It's funny how fast my moods can change.

Yesterday i said some pretty hurtful things to one of my best friends. I hate myself for saying it. I never thought that i would be the one to hurt him, but i did and when he hurts i hurt too. It's like i feel his pain. When something's wrong, i don't even have to ask, i just know.

I'm afraid he's going to stop opening up to me. He's like a closed book. For years i fought to get in, i never gave up and eventually he let me in, now he trusts me. When he's upset it feels like i'm being stabbed in the heart.

I just want him to be happy, he has so much potential. He has no idea how smart he is, he's the only person who understands me. He puts on this act that he's all confident but really he's a lost soul waiting for someone to reach him.

We have both been through the same kind of things, his dad left like mine did, so when i talk to someone with the perfect little family and they tell me that they know how i feel and how they're "sorry" it makes me mad because they have no idea what it's like. But Jamie, i can relate to him, he tells me that it's going to be okay and i believe him because i trust him.

Okay, so lately i have been feeling alot better, happy even and somewhat inspired.

This is all down to a guy. Yeah a guy. I know it shouldn't take someone else to make me happy, but he's amazing and without him i feel empty. It's funny, how much of an impact someone else can have on your life.

Okay so about this guy. His name is Justin, he's dark, handsome and sweet. My prince. The guy all little girls dream about meeting when they grow up.

Our love is so special, magical. When i'm talking with him it's as though nothing else matters, just us.

He makes me nervous. When he calls me beautiful or pretty, i get an amazing feeling. Or when he calls me his baby, i feel my heart beating hard inside my chest.

I know he's the perfect person for me, we're meant to be together and he loves me just as much as i love him.

I would do anything for him.

I've had this song on repeat for hours. "colourblind" By the couting crows. I love the story that the lyrics tell. A person can pretend to be what everyone else wants them to be, what they're expected to be. But letting go, forgetting them, and being ready to reveal who you truly are, not being afraid anymore. I think it's a beautiful thing.  

I think alot of us try to be what others want us to be. If we're different then that's not acceptable. The truth is; anything we're not..is the thing we're taught to fear. We only get one life, we have to live it, we create our own destiny.